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Where's the beef? It doesn't matter, dum-dum! Your country needs you! It needs you to cuddle with me until I fall asleep. Then you can leave. Wait until I'm fully asleep, though. (THIS LEVEL WAS ORIGINALLY THOUGHT UP BY RALPH MACCHIO BACK IN THE 80'S, BUT LBP HADN'T BEEN INVENTED YET SO HE MADE "THE KARATE KID" INSTEAD.)

Listen! Can you hear it!? Can you hear them calling!? Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! The mirror! The MIRROR!! Look! Beyond the horizon! It's almost here! Our love can destroy this whole blasted world. The mothership! It has come back for all of us! All I wanted was a pep-talk, but SHE wouldn't give it to me! (I'M SORRY. I'M FRESH OUT OF BATH OILS AT THE MOMENT...)

(...and Rebirth) Samsonite. I was way off. Actually I wasn't. Sorry. My mistake. Prepare to have your tear ducts over-worked during the duration of this pilgrimage. Bring a few tissues. (THIS LEVEL WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A PRETTY WOMAN, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR GENDER.)

Your grandmother's tattoo: gone. My life's savings: gone, too. Get the hint? The tattoo's removal broke my bank! It's YOUR grandmother! (ONLY PLAY THIS LEVEL IF YOU PLAN ON BECOMING A CONGRESSMAN DIRECTLY AFTERWARD.)

Legend has it that after the original LBP1 version of "Massage A Walrus With Coa Coa Butter" was taken away from us by the *MOD* fairies, an updated LBP2 version had begun development titled "Massage A Walrus With *MODERATED* Butter," but was cancelled mid-way through, due to the second corner-putting of Turbo. That legend is true. In here is a tragedy. It's the unfinished version of that level. Don't get too excited. (SONNY AND CHER HELPED ME MAKE THIS LEVEL.)

NOT based on the book "Animal Farm" by my man, G.O. (One love). Borscht! (THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A WONDERFUL TIME IN YOUR LIFE, COMRAD!)

Winner of the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival in 1988, this fourth entry in the popular arthouse "Cindy McMuffins" films, sees Cindy at war with a rival elephant poacher with a mysterious and deadly connection to her past. Will Cindy bring home the ivory? What dark secret is this mysterious rival hiding? I don't know. But I DO know ONE thing: A buh-buh-buh! Weeeaaoooeeeuuuhuh! ...Directed by Balki Bartokomous.

After surviving and recovering from a shocking paddleboat accident in the last film, sassy businesswoman Cindy McMuffins accepts a job as a life coach to some inner-city youths. Carl Otis Winslow directs this whimsical third entry in the series that features a cameo by Waldo Geraldo Faldo. The film went on to win 7 Oscars at the 1984 Academy Awards, including "Best Original Blah Blah Who Cares?"

Witness the rise and fall of a fashion icon in this 1978 biopic from acclaimed director Kimberly Gibbler.

Donna Jo Tanner takes over directing duties for this second installment of the popular "Cindy McMuffins" franchise. This time around, Cindy (Rebecca Donaldson-Katsopolis) learns that her new life as a mother isn't a walk in the park, as she once thought it would be. ~ (1980 | UR | Runtime: 4 billion minutes)